Do you remember that feeling of loneliness and freedom, a mixed feeling between “I like this, but I’m not certain I do?” AKA Independence?
From an early age, we are taught that the only person who can live life for us is ourselves. We lean on our parents and tutors to help us transition into adulthood, or at least some of us do.
Kiera, a freshman at Texas A&M University and aspiring engineer, shares her feelings about living far away from her family. She says, “It’s quieter a lot of times … I miss eating meals together. I’m just more by myself and independent. I like it, but I’m also just like, oh, there’s some moments where I’m like, I really do miss my family.”
The weary feeling of independence in its early stages can be staggering at times; however, with time and mentorship, one learns to cope with it.
Having people to rely on and help us tidy up the messiness of our thoughts is crucial to defining our journey.
Kiera told me how important it is to her to be part of a community. She comes from a big family and continuously tries to build a community without even realizing it. “I’m just trying to start building myself up to, like, gaining those communities I was so familiar with.”
As we discussed the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who inspire us, anxieties and questions started rising around the expectations she placed upon herself.
“I know I want to be a civil engineer, right? But I just don’t know necessarily how to get there. How much time do I need? How many classes do I need to take? And then I think all of this just goes back to, oh, was I really prepared from the start? Did I really know what I needed necessarily…? I wish at the start I knew more about like the steps to take and cause I still feel like I’m still playing catch up.”
I understood her fears, chasing something that seemed so far away, although it was right before you.
We talked about the importance of recognizing that a new journey is a new start and should be treated as such. You don’t necessarily need to have it all figured out from the very beginning; you figure it out on your way by questioning and redirecting.
Again, the fear of the unknown. Becky Henderson highlighted in Ep. 1 of the Uncharted Podcast that the latest generation is in a disadvantageous position of “conflict between a high need for safety and a low tolerance for uncertainty and risk, creating an intense disillusioned generation.”
Risk is part of the game; if it weren’t there, you would not want to play.
At this point, I asked Kiera, what scares you when you think of the future?
She started giving me a list of things and situations and said:
“But I’m just like, is anything in the future gonna happen that I’m not ready for? Because I’m a scheduled person. I like being prepared. I like knowing what’s gonna happen. And then sometimes the future terrifies me in that, oh, I don’t really know what’s gonna happen. I don’t even know how I can predict what’s gonna happen at this moment in time.”
There it is: to predict the future, a skill we all continuously forget we do not have. “You can’t think of tomorrow until you finish today,” I said.
She smiled, I smiled, and we both knew that life is hard, but it does get better if you want it to.
Listen to Kiera’s episode here: The power of Networking with Dan Graham Founder of Notley
This blog was written by Anais Schmidt, one of the hosts of the Uncharted Podcast. Anais is also an aspiring musician. When not in her studio, she tours Europe with Monte Mai. If you would like to join the conversation email us at anais@foundingup.com
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